Ben's birth story

My last day of work at my school was Friday, June 18. Luckily, the last few weeks were fairly relaxing and I had my students help me pack up my classroom. I had some pre-labor contractions Monday and Tuesday night, but when I went to the midwife on Wednesday, things still looked about the same and birth did not seem like it would happen anytime soon. Mentally, I was prepared to have the baby sometime in late June (they would have induced me by 6/30).

Saturday, June 19, was a beautiful day. We got up had breakfast and went to Balboa Park. While Jake played frisbee, Sophia and I spent some time at the playground nearby. I walked the 4-5 blocks with her back to the frisbee game and we sat and watched that for a while. We got home around 12:30, had lunch and put Sophia down for her nap (although she had quiet time in her room, she did not take a nap that day). I planned on taking a nap and then running some errands before we went out for an early Father’s Day dinner with my family at a Chinese restaurant. (We had joked about that all day, since my water broke at a Chinese restaurant in Wheaton, MD with Sophia.)

It was about 2 pm, and I was almost asleep, when I felt a funny sensation. I ran to the bathroom and my water broke. It was different than with Sophia. Then, it had gooshed out. This time, it was more like a slow leak. We called our parents, checked in with the labor department at the hospital, and began to prepare for having the baby. We finished packing the hospital bag, installed the car seat, cleaned up the house a bit, and made muffins. We also started calling close friends and family. Around 3, my contractions started. They were not very strong, but they were about 2-3 minutes apart. As it neared 4, we called my mom to come and get Sophia and started talking about going in to the hospital. I wanted to labor as much as possible at home, but I was having much stronger contractions about 2 minutes apart and I did not want to wait too long to go in. The Kaiser hospital is only about 5 minutes away and I had several contractions in the car and on the way up to the 4th floor.

We checked in and I got examined in triage. I was about 3 cm dialated, and they admitted me. The admitting nurse took us to our private L&D room, asked a ton of random questions, hooked me up on the monitor and inserted a Hep lock. We had put in our birth plan no Hep lock, so I was annoyed she had done it without my permission. All labor, I had this thing on my wrist that hurt and annoyed me. I negotiated being put on the monitor for 10 minutes every hour. That first hour, I labored at the window and it was good to look out and see the trees and houses. I was so glad I didn’t have back labor like with Sophia. It was easier to breathe and rock through the contractions since I had a break in the pain. Also, Jake was a wonderful coach. He let me lean on him through the contractions. I would put my arms around his neck and rock and breathe through each one. He kept track of the time, the gear, the hospital stuff; all I had to do was focus on getting through each contraction. Luckily, the pain wasn’t a constant presence like the first time. I imagined each contraction like a wave: it started slow, peaked and lessened, and I could handle it.

After that first hour, I was 5 cm. I met the midwife on duty and our nurse. The baby sounded fine, and I was in more pain. The midwife suggested I go in the shower (I don’t think she wanted Jake and I walking/contracting in the hallway). I told Jake to sit and relax for a bit and spent the next 50 minutes in the shower, slowly chanting “Opening up, letting the baby out,” with each contraction.

After drying off and hooking back up to the monitors, I was checked by the nurse before her shift ended. She called for the midwife. I did not feel ready to start pushing, but she said I was already sounding pushy. The midwife said I was almost 10 cm, and she pushed the membranes back (ouch!) and talked me though each push. It hurt a lot, but felt so much easier than with Sophia. After about 15 minutes of pushing, with great guidance by the midwife, Benjamin eased out. I had asked for him to be placed on my chest right away, and the midwife and nurse, let me have him for the first hour. I was able to breastfeed him. I was just in shock that he had arrived so quickly and that the baby in my belly for soooo long was finally here. We named him right away (We basically had Benjamin picked out before we even started trying for #2). When I delivered the placenta, the midwife showed it to us. The membrane sac was totally intact, except for the hole where my water broke and Ben came out. It was amazing to see such a little hole that he came out through and to see the rest of the bag still whole.

The nurse took him away to clean him up and weigh him in the room. They asked how much we thought he weighed. I knew I could be having a big baby (since at the 32 week ultrasound, the tech told us he was already hairy and over 5 lbs). At my more recent appointments though, the midwives had suggested the baby could be smaller than Sophia was. I guessed over 7.5 lbs. Ben tipped the scales at 9.75 lbs and 21.5 inches. I am so proud to have delivered this big baby without pain medication. Some people run marathons or climb mountains, I deliver big babies naturally.

We had to stay at the hospital for at least 24 hours. Since Ben was big for his gestational age, they had to run periodic glucose tests. If he didn’t pass a test, he would be given formula and we would have to stay longer. Luckily, he passed each test. We had to share a postpartum room with another couple, which was less than ideal. Two babies and two sets of parents in a small room was tough. We basically got just a few hours of sleep that first night between all the interruptions and staff coming in. I was pleasantly surprised by the hospital experience. My first preference would have been a home or birth center birth, but we went to the hospital because that is what our insurance covered. The Kaiser hospital had baby friendly certification. They had worked hard to train their staff and follow best practices for newborns. This included: eliminating the nursery and having all babies room in; not pushing pacifiers or formula; training all the nurses to help mothers breastfeed; allowing parents to have that first “golden hour” with the baby before procedures such as the eye ointment or vitmin K shot were done, and more. We were pleased at how we didn’t have to advocate for these things. Also, the hospital food was actually very good, and the nurses were great. Still, we wanted to go home as soon as possible so we could actually get some rest. Ben passed his last glucose test and we were able to bring him home just about 24 hours after his birth.

Now, a week later, Jake is playing frisbee again. I am lying in bed, typing, looking at Ben sleeping in his bassinet. He’s already lost that “newborn red” skin tone. His limbs have uncurled and he looks so big in his 3-month clothes. I love having this first week with him, especially since we did not get that with Sophia. I’m tired and we’re in the midst of the “milk and poop everywhere” stage, but I am trying to cherish the night feedings, the soft fuzz of his hair, his little newborn cries that sound like kitten mewlings, his contented sighs as he falls asleep against my chest. I guess this time, I know how quickly the days and months will go by. I know how Ben will get so big so fast. As I get older too, I see more and more how precious each day is. How fortunate we are to have so many blessings in our life. We have friends who have lost children or been surprised by shifts in health, work, or marriage. I have seen how this good fortune can change in the blink of an eye, and I want to savor every moment.